The doctor on the radio was discussing burn out as being classified as a medical condition today.  It seems that we are all taking on too much these days and the pressure is building up until we reach breaking point.

I know this all too well as I went through this a couple of years ago.  The trouble is, that when life gets busy, really busy, we stop doing the things that most ease our stresses.  All the small pleasures and all of the self care goes, as we strip back to make time for all of the many tasks that we’re faced with.

This is where we go wrong.  I wasted years of my life, just working and existing.  Caring for my children – but not enjoying them.  Cleaning my house – but not loving my home.  Going to work – but not feeling any sense of self achievement. Living in my body – but not loving it.

Life became about getting through each day, juggling those balls.  Working, shopping, cleaning, collecting kids, feeding family ….. and begin again.  My head was reeling with endless lists of endless stuff.  And, in this process, I forgot who I was.  I’ve spoken about this before.

So, what has changed for me?  I’m still super busy, with the same work/life pressures.  I had a bit of an epiphany, while sitting in that library.  It was like being in the eye of the storm, all silent and still, while the chaos raged around me.  I realised that I can’t calm the storm, this is how my life is right now, with 4 kids, two grandkids, work commitments a husband and a house to look after, but, things are going to get easier, this is just a small part of my life and while the crazy storm is doing it’s worst.  I have to find a little time for myself, to reassess and to remind myself of the person that I am.  Find the person inside.  

The way in which I did this, was to think, really think about the things that I enjoy doing.  I loved art classes at school, it didn’t feel at all like work, so I started to draw again.  I love photography, I can’t afford a fancy camera so when I upgraded my phone, I got one with a decent camera and I’ve had some great feed back from photographers on instagram already!  I’ve started working on my dream of working in the artworld, with this blog.  It’s going slowly but I’m making small steps in the direction that my future self wants to be in.  I didn’t have any plans or any hope for the future before.  I was just getting through each day and not daring to look any further than the end of the week, but now, I am making plans and I am accepting that everything will take time to come together.  I’m not letting things overwhelm me, I have realised that one person can only do so much at any given time.  But, I am no longer just letting life push me in any direction like a ball randomly rolling down a hill.  I’m picking the direction that I go, but just at a slow pace, knowing I’ll get there in the end.

I’m cherishing my children, enjoying my sometimes messy home, relishing the food I make, holding my friends and family close in my heart.  So, make a start today folks.  Not some big epic gesture that breaks your will.  Just a small thing, do something that over a long time, will eventually benefit you.  Invest in your self a little today and a little tomorrow so that your future self will thank you.